Salaam Bombay # poetry #humor #sundayreading


 

A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .

Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,

Where college canteens are full and cl-asses empty,
Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,

Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,

Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,

Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,

Where the roads are leveled when the minister arrives,

Where college admission means hard cash,
Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.

This is Mumbai my dear, But don’t fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every
year!

THINGS TO PROVE YOU’RE A BOMBAYITE

1. You say ‘town ‘ and expect everyone to know that this means south
of Churchgate.

2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called ‘Bambaiya Hindi‘,
which only Bombayites can understand.

3. Your door has more than three locks.

4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

5. Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.

7. You call an 8′ x 10′ clustered room a Hall.

8.. You’re paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size
of walk-in closet and you think it’s a ‘steal.’

9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college
friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends,
a species unique only in Bombay. (REALLY TRUE)

10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars
if you call the roads by their Indian name,
they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road

11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket
which you follow passionately.

12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the
‘ Bombay Times’ supplement.

13. You take fashion seriously.
You’re suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

14.. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

15. You compare Bombay to New York ‘s Manhattan instead of any other
cities of India.

16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and
Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.

18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and
actually call it ”romantic’.

22. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and
Jain Chicken Masala

Salaam Bombay…

 

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: India Life. Leaving Bombay, a book by Michael Snell. Yareah magazine | Yareah Magazine. Arts and writing

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