Dear Parents, Have you told your son about rape? #Vaw #Sex #love


January 11, 2013

Following the sensational GS Road molestation case in Assam last year, blogger Local Tea Party wrote a blog post about what to tell your son on rape. 

You do one thing. First you grow up. Because, if you grow up means, automatically your son will grow up. And when your son is growing up, give him a pack of condoms. Now don’t give that confused look and all. Seriously, give him a pack of condoms. Along with that, give him a lot of free advice. Don’t think that he won’t take it. Give it anyway, he will eventually take it.

Tell your son to go out with the girls. Tell him to give them hugs and high-fives and ask them to go out on day trips and have fun. Tell him that it is not important to get married before having sex and that if he feels like it, ask him to use that condom you just gave him. Tell him that the Health and Glow shop anyway has lots of varieties of them near the cash counter itself and that he need not be embarrassed to go buy them if he has to. No one will notice.

Tell him that he can talk about sex in your presence. And that you will not feel embarrassed about it.

Tell your son that it is okay to watch pornography. Don’t ask him to watch it when you are around and all, that will be indecent, but still tell him that there is nothing wrong in watching two adults in action.

Tell your son to read erotic fiction and have some fun. In fact, if possible, you only give a copy of the Kamasutra to him. He won’t understand any of it anyway, but still give it to him. Or try Harold Robbins.

Ask him to log on to Chatrooms and have sex chat with a random girl on the other end. It could be a guy pretending to be a girl, but still that and all doesn’t matter. Ask him to have it nevertheless.

Ask him to do sexting with this girlfriend, but tell him to do it discreetly. Tell him it is ok to have phone sex with her and that even if you overhear something from his room, tell him that you will pretend you have not heard anything. Promise him you won’t embarrass him.

Tell him to fall in love with a woman (or a man). Tell him to go head-over-heels (or something like that) about her. Tell him to admire her beauty. Actually, tell him to admire the beauty of all women. Tell him that they are single most source of joy on the planet and that without them the world is nothing. Tell him to make love to a woman in a manner that they will remember for the rest of their lives.

Tell him to relax and enjoy sex.

But before you do ANY of the above,

Tell him what they show on National Geographic Channel. Tell him that male animals don’t have sex without the permission of the female animal. Tell him that it is a shame to touch a woman without her permission. Tell him that it is a failure on your part and on the way you have brought him up. Tell him that it is a failure to his manhood.

Tell him that real life pornography requires her permission. Tell him that if a woman agrees, no amount of erotica can match a woman’s passion. But ask him to wait for the woman to agree first.

Tell him that a woman is a human being. Just like him. Not a piece of object. Tell him that while it is ok to admire her beauty, grabbing her body parts without her permission is worse than stealing food from rabies-ridden street dog. Tell him that just because he possesses a penis, it does not give him the right to mate with every vagina in the vicinity automatically.

Tell him that even broken hearts can be mended but he cannot break a woman’s dignity at any cost.

Tell him that raping is a sin for which man will have to pay a heavy price. A very heavy price.

Courtesy: The Local Tea Party

 

HIV in Chhattisgarh jails, debate over what caused it


Ashutosh Bhardwaj, Indian Express Nov 12, 2012

A nationwide health survey in jails has found 80 of Chhattisgarh’s prisoners HIV-positive, out of 13,000-odd tested. Prison authorities insist that the inmates had probably arrived already infected, but health authorities don’t rule out the possibility that it was after being jailed that they got infected, with unsafe sex or drug use the likely causes.

This has turned into a contentious issue. The health authorities are contemplating distribution of condoms and syringes, but the jail authorities say there is no reason to do so. Their resistance comes apparently because allowing distribution of condoms would amount to an acceptance of the fact that homosexuality exists in jails.

The 80 found HIV-positive include women prisoners too. “This is the first instance of an ELISA test being conducted in jails anywhere in India. Figures for none of the other states are available,” said S K Binjhwar, additional project director, Chhattisgarh Aids Control Society.

“Of these 80 prisoners, 65 have a CD4 count less than 350. They are being given ART. So far we have tested only those we suspected to be from a high-risk group, but since the infection also spreads to others in jails we are expanding our sample size,” he said. “We counsel them about safe sex.”

The jail administration says the health authorities should focus on sources of infection beyond prisons. “Instead of focusing on jails, the health authorities should focus on red-light areas and drug addicts and on improving the health situation at village level, especially checking quacks who use old syringes. These are the major sources of spreading HIV infection,” said ADG (jail) Giridhari Nayak.

“A jail has a mobile population, like a train. People board at a station and get off at the next. Only a few remain till the final destination,” Nayak added. “Of the total HIV-positive inmates in Chhattisgarh jails, only 12 are convicts while the rest are undertrials; they keep getting released and new ones come in. The infection comes from outside; it is not spreading in jails.”

Dr K K Gupta, Raipur jailor, said that the possibility of homosexual behaviour in jails “is merely hypothetical”. Gupta said, “There is no question of distributing condoms or syringes as such activities are yet to be seen in jails.”

Homosexuality in jails has been discussed globally and opinions have been sharply divided. A California study notes that the rate of HIV prevalence among people who are incarcerated is nearly seven times higher than that of the general population. San Francisco jail authorities installed a condom-vending machine on their premises after HIV infection was found to be rapidly spreading in the area in the 1990s.

In Chhattisgarh, the project began in March 2011, when the state AIDS control soc

 

Judgement for women rights : Can’t divorce wife for pushing condom use #FOE


, TNN | May 4, 2012,

Bombay HC: Can't divorce wife for pushing condom use
Planning when to start a family cannot be treated as cruelty, said the Bombay high court on Thursday, upholding the family court’s dismissal of a man’s divorce plea.
 

MUMBAI: Planning when to start a familycannot be treated as cruelty, said the Bombay high court on Thursday, upholding the family court’s dismissal of a man’s divorce plea.

An HC division bench of judges P B Majmudar and Anoop Mohta was hearing a petition by Pradeep Bapat (30), who said that during their honeymoon his wife Prerna (26) refused to have sex unless he wore a condom and subsequently refused to conceive on the grounds that they were not financially stable.

“She must not have shown willingness to become a mother unless there was financial stability. She wanted to give the child a better life,” Justice Majmudar said. “It is a mutual decision and a husband cannot insist,” said Justice Mohta.

The reply of Bapat’s advocate- “Why do people go for honeymoon?” – raised a few titters in the courtroom.

The judges also held that Pradeep’s other grounds for seeking divorce–not knowing to cook, not being religious, not parting with salary and not folding clothes properly–did not amount to cruelty either. Bapat’s lawyer said his family wanted a working graduate as his wife, who would live in their joint family and also do housework. To this, Justice Majmudar said, “A woman is not a slave. The wife is an ardhangini (a man’s other half). Her right of freedom of speech cannot be taken away. You have put (common household troubles) in the plea. If we construe these as cruelty, then no marriage will be safe.”

Observing that Bapat’s family was “conservative” and “full of perfection”, Justice Majmudar said, “You (Prerna) should not have selected this house.”

Her advocate replied, “She was the eldest (child) and unless she married, her younger sister would not have been able to do so either.”

Justice Majmudar said, “Girls are still treated as a burden on parents. A girl must know to which family she is going (after marriage).”

In their order, the judges said the case was an eye-opener for those who were yet to marry. They said that especially in the case of arranged marriages, the prospective husband and wife should get to know each other and see if they could live happily together. “It is the duty of (both sets of) parents to consider various aspects before the actual marriage takes place.”

The judges were told that Prerna was willing to return to her marital home, but Bapat did not want her back. The couple married in February 2007; Prerna left her marital home in June the same year.

The judges noted that in a short span of time, the relationship between Prerna and Bapat had become strained. Also, Prerna was “subjected to ill-treatment” and Bapat “treated her as if she was on probation”. “A girl coming into an entirely new atmosphere would have expected love and affection. The husband and his family are required to see to it that a (newly) married woman does not feel that she has come to an absolutely strange place,” the judges said.

(Names changed)